Friday, July 6, 2012

Faith and Hope and Grace

I need some, friends.

Faith.  I've lost faith in our agency.  The Ethiopian staff has not been diligent in processing our case since the court decree and birth certificate were received.  In order to be submitted to the US Embassy for processing of Eli's citizenship application and visa, he needs to obtain his Ethiopian passport and a clear medical exam from an Embassy physician.  Each of those takes three days to obtain, and must be done in order, but both can be completed in a week.

Eli was not taken for his passport for a full week after we received his adoption decree and birth certificate.  There was no explanation for the delay.  Then his medical appointment was not scheduled for another five days after that.  Our agency is only permitted to file new cases with the US Embassy on Wednesdays, and his medical report should be ready next Thursday.  So that bumps our case submission another full week.  These timeframes are known to the Ethiopian staff, so I'm having a really hard time understanding why there wasn't some thought given to when things needed to get done to have our case timely submitted.

I've also lost faith in our agency's US staff.  They have not been forthcoming with information regarding the status of our case, and I've had to learn about our progress from another family who was in-country.  My frustration with the lack of progress and communication has been met by the US staff with defensiveness and hostility, to the point where I can barely bring myself to speak with them.  It's not good right now.  They are supposed to be there for us, to help us through this difficult process, and I feel as though they've become our adversary.

I need my faith restored to bring this journey to a conclusion.  This time between court and Embassy is so hard, and feeling like our agency is not working in our best interest has made it much, much harder.

Hope.  I feel pretty hopeless right now.  Intellectually I know that we are almost done.  That Eli will be home with us soon and the way I feel right now will quickly fade, replaced by the joy of our new family of three.  But my heart is having a really hard time buying into that right now.

And I need hope for what is to come after we've finally been submitted to the Embassy.  The process can be quick, or it can be very long.  I'm so afraid of beginning the Embassy process with my hope tank on empty.

Grace.  I pray that God restores some grace to my heart and my spirit.  I've become so angry and frustrated, and I can't spend the next however long feeling like this.  There is no way to fix what has already occurred and I need to stay focused on what lies ahead.

Please pray for us.  For Eli's case to be filed on our now earliest-possible-date of July 18th. And for quick processing by the US Embassy after that. 


  1. HUGS!!! You can do this, mama! :) And he will come at the perfect time! It's almost just like waiting for a baby you're birthing, huh? The not knowing and anticipation :) I can't wait to see the pictures you take of him!

  2. Thanks, Marisa! Yeah, I guess that's a good analogy, if your doctor wasn't doing what he needed to do to enable you to give birth. :)

    Can't wait for both our Elijahs to be in our arms!!!

    HUGS back to you. xoxo