Friday, June 29, 2012

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

Not news to anyone, I know. 

I'd been warned that the wait between court and Embassy was the hardest, but there's no way to really understand how much your heart will ache until you're here. 

Waiting. 

Waiting to hug your child again.  Waiting to see his (ever elusive) smile again. 


Waiting to help him settle into his new life; for us to settle into our new life.  For us all to be a real family, not just one on paper.

Adoption's not for wimps, that's for sure.  And I've realized I'm a bit of a wimp. 

We've had Eli's bedroom ready for months and I always felt happy when I walked by it.  The room seemed to project hope and optimism.  Now, even though he's yet to sleep one night in his bedroom, it somehow feels . . . empty.  Like he was there and now he's gone.

I know that makes no sense, but feelings aren't always logical.

Three weeks ago today the Ethiopian Federal Court made us parents.  I've tried not to think too much about our child who is more than 8,000 miles away.  I've tried to keep myself busy.  And it's worked, kind of, but only for short spurts of time.

Because mostly I just miss our boy.

Eli Lingo, xoxo

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